blackisanessence

hmmm..

2009-08-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

dead smelly blog.
I am coming back in a few months and see if anyone reads this.
Hahahahahah! highly doubt it.
sucks balls.

love letters in the sands.
i remember you.

2009-05-03T01:39:00.001-07:00

wow.. its been awhile..
looks like no one has been visiting..
especially that someone who promised to.. =(. oh well.. now she leads her own life.
congrats on making it into ur dream course in NTU.. u deserved it.. U owe me alot!hahaha

i have not been, i repeat HAVE NOT BEEN putting in effort for A's. Its a few months away. why am i still doing this. CRAP!

i don't know how u feel, what u're thinking, i just hope.....
oh u get what i mean.

2009-04-03T19:30:00.001-07:00

things are just not what it seems.

and i dont know how it will end up.

2009-03-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

this blog is going to be dead. it was alive because of you. not that u're gone. so will this blog.
i dont know whether i made the right move letting you go. but i'd rather see u smile, than see u cry, even if the person u're smiling with is not me. I hope everything turns out right for you. Take care of yourself.

kau pergi jua, setelah cintaku kini membara. Belum sempat ku curahkan kasihku. Kau pergi, tak kembali.

2009-03-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

why should you know whats gg on in my life? if you dont want to accept anything i say?

2009-03-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

well..
im back to square one. thats about it. oh bother. i hope things will improve. hope.

oh well..
today was GP. going to fail it... HORRIBLY. )$&()*@#&$(&.
didnt finish aq. i think i screwed summary. screw it. need to study more. i dont want to go for more remedials!!!!!!!

anyways.. i heard about sulizah's condition. i hope she gets better. i dunwan the only minah in class to be missing from school. hahah! get well minah.

thats about it ah.

2009-03-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

ooooh. A lvls results today! hahaha!!
congrats on ur results! AAC. smart smart. Well. Where u wanna go now? make the right choice.
hahaha.

Skipped school today. So fun. actually. its getting dry. same old story. skip school.... meet up with friends.. go lan... hang out somewhere... go home... rot... hhahahah. must find something more interesting things to do. Hahaha! like.. hmmm.. like.... hmmm.. like.... hmmmm.. any ideas?
Hahaha.

Things are not what they seem. Its not that easy. OHHHH WELLL!
hahaha...

another random post by me.

2009-03-04T08:13:00.000-08:00

Today. Hmm.. 5th march i think. 12.13 am. Not asleep. Doing maths. I cant believe it.
AFTER HOCKEY SOMEMORE!!! &!#(*&!@()#*&! O well. Better than staying back in school for no reason tmr. Haha. im messed up man. Why am i not focusing in school. CCB! A lvls nigga. Must concentrate. Hopefully something would wake me up before prelims.

Next............
I believe things are better if i just keep everything to myself. Go figure. Haha!

Now... back to maths...

NICE!

AND MY BACKBONE HURTS!!!

2009-03-01T03:27:00.000-08:00

I must be very very bored to keep updating this blog of mine. I dont see the purpose of it anymore. I kept my end of the deal. U threw urs away. The best part was, u kept emphasizing on fairness last time. Oh well. i just hope u can open ur eyes. See things through other ppl. I dont want u to see things through ur own eyes cos by then... i think its too late. I just hope u'll come to ur senses one day. Be the girl u were. Not for me. but for urself.

I dunnoe why but somehow.. i get worried for u. I keep thinking of ur whereabouts. How u're doing. I just wanna know if u're alright. I wanna say things. But it doesnt make any sense if i say it now. Just hope u're okay.

2009-02-28T16:38:00.000-08:00

ITS 8.30 AND IM AWAKE!!
am i dumb or what? hahaha AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

2009-02-27T23:06:00.000-08:00

Re: To whatever u said i ur blog's last entry.

About paying me back.. Im sorry for rushing. But im seriously broke. I dont feel HAPPY asking u like that. I just feel that i need to call in that debt. If u dont have money to pay me back, its okay. just pay me back when u have ur pay. i dont want u to think that the reason im asking u for the money is to get away from u asap. Rubbish. I didnt say that. U keep painting urself negative thoughts of me. If ure giving urself reasons to hate me, then so be it. But just keep in mind. Im not having those thoughts. About the call yesterday. Im sorry if i sound dead. Seriously. It was only because im bloody tired. Hockey in the afternoon, hang out at night. So yah. if u think i sound heartless, im sorry. I didnt mean it. And, about ur last sentence. I tried to. but u didnt allow me. U left before im done with it.

so yah.
Bye

2009-02-26T05:25:00.000-08:00

Well. Its been a few days. And im still managing to hang on.
Barely i guess.
I have an avid reader? Ahaha
I dont want an avid reader. I dont want someone who just reads about me.
Im not a book.
I want someone who can experience stuffs with me. Nothing else.

Oh well, back to today. hmmm. nothing much happened. Except that burst of anger i had with
Mr Patrick Tong. For anyone who doesnt know who is Tong. He is just a chemistry teacher that got on my nerves at the wrong time. hahah. apart from that. same old boring thursday.
Hahaha!

Yesterday however sucked.
Haha.. I got hit by a hockey ball on the lip. Courtesy of clifford. Haha. Lucky for me it was a deflected ball. If it was a straight shot. BOOM! i will look like my grandma now. Kwang3.
Had a match after that. 0-0 with JJC. WTF! they are fucking noobs! Im so embarassed.
HAha!

Thats about it i guess. I dont think u'll be reading anymore. So. Yah. HAHAHA. I hope u take care of urself. And keep to the promises. Cos im still am keeping to them.
Hahah!

oh yah. IM BROKE. hahah! if this keeps up. i may need to bring packet food to school. HAHAH! question is.. PACKET WHAT?!?!?!?
hahah

2009-02-23T01:14:00.000-08:00

Tuesday 23rd Feb.

First day not contacting you. I miss you already. Buttttttt, it doesnt matter. U're happy with ur life now. this was what u have always wanted. I hope u're happy.
Better pick up the pieces and move on wandi.

Today, nothing much happened. Just the normal boring monday. the only difference was that i passed my car basic theory test (btt). haha!
passed after 10 mins. w/o practice. Wow. i could still rmbr the rules of the road.
Hahaha
Next would be TP again. On 30th march. Hahah!

I hope tmr would be a better day. I hope something good happens tmr. Haha!
Oh well.

2009-02-15T05:40:00.000-08:00

where are you?
how are you doing?
questions i wanna ask today. But. Nah. Better just keep it to myself.
I just wanted u to want me. Thats it. Nothing more.
Must be hard for you. I understand.
I didnt mean to explode. But i cnt take it anymore. Everything just had to go.
I really hope u could just see where im coming from.

Right now, it seems that u're out there somewhere with ur friends.
U wanted to be free.... u must be very happy now huh.
No more commitments.
I really wanted to work things out. I dont wanna fight anymore.
But its all too late now.
I just hope ure out there doing the right things.

Now. Im afraid. Afraid to open up. Fear of being let down.
If only u could look into my eyes and say u wont do me the same.
Haha. Fat hope.

Oh well. Since nobody is going to read this. let this be the place where i crap myself out.
Ure never going to read this.
so here goes.
I still love you... Never did hated u..

2009-01-24T02:19:00.000-08:00

Hello illiyana!! Hahaha it seems ure the only person who visits this place.
So hello!
I love you!!
Hahaha

random post.

2009-01-16T06:12:00.000-08:00

First week of school. Again. Haiz! Im getting tired of seeing that dumb school again. Hahah!
Somehow, nowadays, school gets very boring. Maybe because i dun have anyone to look out for anymore. No more messy short girl with paint on her skirt and shirt. -_-. Oh well. At least i can still see her work at Lot One. Hahaha. But i miss seeing the girl in the school uniform. B-O-R-I-N-G! Haha.....

i miss you.

2009-01-05T05:10:00.000-08:00

I miss you. I hope u understand.

anyone?

2008-12-29T23:32:00.000-08:00

hello? is anyone out there?

hehe!
i dont think so. So whatever i write here. No one would know! Hehe!!
good!
hahah!

Why?

2008-12-29T23:25:00.001-08:00

Why do i still have this stupid feelings and thoughts?
Why do i still hope that things would go my way soon?
Why do i still long to see ur face infront of mine again?

WHY?

I cannot answer these questions. Can you?

To me, now all hope is lost. Things are not going my way. I dont think its going to. You are out there smiling with that someone beside you. I'm down here trying to pull myself together.

When will this thing end?
Until when must i endure this?

Crush Or Crash???

2008-12-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

i have a crush on you..

Guess who?

Where do I go from here?

2008-12-19T19:27:00.000-08:00

Its been nearly a week and I am still not feeling normal. Why? I wish i could say i didnt know why..........
i can't do anything about it.
Why am i saying this? Why am i posting this here? Haha.
No one is going to read this. All the better. Hahah!

I would like to thank that someone who has always been a friend to me. THANX!
Hahaha..

U deserve a christmas present! Merry Christmas!
Haha!

Wow!!

2008-07-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

Hahaha!! new layout huh?
Thank YOU NUR ILLIYANA!
hahaha....

she revived my dead blog. i cannot believe im doing this yet again. HAHAHAH!!
i like the new look...
nice!
hahahah....
oh well...

TMR IS SCHOOL!
haha. Yippeee! (no.. i was just lying)
oh well...
till next time!
wonder when would that be... HAHAHAH!!

oh yah.. please please please...
dont mind the "oh beautiful" and " 18 and still hot"
hahah...
illiyana did that...
thnx ah...

oh yah..
i seriously... i mean seriously doubt anybody is going to read this. Hahahah!

BYEYEYEYEYEY

wow!!

2007-10-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

Wow....
after so many years....
hahahah... im doing this dumb thing again..... kinda dumb....
i dunnoe why im doing this....
MCM BODOH (translation: like stupid!)
hahahah....

TMR IS 23-10-07
results release day...
mati (translation: die)
hahah...

Beauty and the Beast

2006-07-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

Well... it was great.. if u want pictures.. please visit Faris's blog at
http://www.outrageous-hocker2.blogspot.com/ hahaha..

2006-07-13T05:10:00.000-07:00

45 soccer stars - Live for Love United

Power!!!! Live for Love United!

World Cup

2006-07-06T04:15:00.000-07:00

Hahahaha... Its been a few weeks since the start of the FIFA World Cup 2006. Many teams have been thrown out from the tournament and now it boils to only 2 teams, the best 2 this year. France, famous for their old and ugly players and Italy, famous for their dead boring game. This 2 teams have beaten all odds to face each other at the World Cup finals. So who u think would win? My Prediction goes to..... ITALY. They will play so boringly that the french team would end up sleeping and italy will have an easy time scoring during the last few mins of extra time. WAKAKAKAKA!!

Well, lets take time off from the finals, and focus our sights on the players of the FIFA world cup.

David Beckham

Impressed people with his dead ball specialty where he scored 2 goals (ok fine 1 own goal due to his free kick) for England. No longer the team's captain after Mclaren took over.... Rating: 6/10

Fernando Torres

Acclaimed to be one of the hottest palyers in this world cup, he did not perform up to his standard and did not make any headlines. Rating: 6.5/10

Peter Crouch

No words can describe this guy except, LOSER!!!!!!!! He would be better off dancing in some robotic dance club rather then playing football in some football club. Rating: 2/10

Cristiano Ronaldo

I was quite disappointed with the way he protest with the ref to get Rooney snet off. Disappointing. Does not want to pass, solo all the way. But his slick moves creates problems for the other teams. Rating: 7.5/10

Hahaha.. thats all for now about the fifa world cup. hahaha.. GO ITALY!

hahah...

2006-06-30T04:17:00.000-07:00

Hahaha. U guys have been complaining that i have not updatde my blog for a long time. Its all becoz i am studying VERY VERY VERY hard for the O level's.. Hahahah.. How ironic.. Btw, can someone tell me what the hell is going on at my tagboard.. I have no idea what u guys are talking about.. ahahah...

Well.. i will try updating soon. Maybe i post about the day u went to zoo and met Ummairah's HAIRY cousin! ahahah

band comp... hahah.. which is 2 days ago

2006-04-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

hahaha... well well.. MY LATEST POST! and its about..... SYF! hahah..
the school military band did well... they didnt deserve the gold.. they desever better...
hahaah
well.. at least u guys did ur best! hahah... Personally, i think the whole syf was boring.. except for some Funny events that happened. Hahah. Apart from that, the rest were boring. hahaha

Well, at least i didnt have to be bored and hungry. I have at least 15 packets of SUPER RING inside my bag and a 1.5 ltr bottle of H20. it was more like a picnic then SYF. Hahaha..

Well, i only manage to snap one pic of the band. this is it

its not clear... but.. thats the bp band with most them crying.. hahaha....

Well... off to tuition then gonna do some SS study. good luck to u all taking SS.. hahahaha

Fish and CO

2006-03-16T05:23:00.000-08:00

Finally my newest post. lolz. Well today went out.. have dunch ( dinner + lunch at 5.30)at fish and co near plaza singapura.. lolz. Well, as per normal, im broke. Only have 12 dollars with me. LOLZ! bloody pathetic la. The worse part is, the prices there, cheapest, is 13.90! lolz. Luckily i have a kind hearted fren in sheedy.. he gave me 3 dollars to buy my food. lolz..

The FOOD>> was not delicious.. BUT.. its alot! As per normal, i did not finish and as per normal, Faris, being the dustbin he is, ate my remains. Lolz! Well.. practically thats alll lah... nuthing too interesting.

oh yah... its bloody irritating to know that my fren who is born on feb is able to watch nc 16 movies while i still cant. WTH! its only a few months. Not as if we become more mature after our 16 bdae! lolz.. well.. this means that i will miss FD3.. Date movie and V for Vendetta... UNLESS anyone of u know which cinema follow the year of birth for their age limit. If yes.. pls tell... lolz

First match of the B boys tournament.....

2006-02-06T03:57:00.000-08:00

Well well... Today we had our first match.. Guess what.. we are up against hot favourites to win the cup. Bloody hell. Well, i guess u culd predict what happened to us. We got stepped on, rolled over and tossed aside. They were damn good. This was actually the first game that i played without ever dribbling with the ball. I cannot even GET the ball, how u expect to dribble without it! Now i think that u know just how good they are.

First half...
We started the match on a high note. They culdnt penetrate our solid defence. Then we got tired, concided the first goal. Bloody stupid goal. Nemind abt the goal. We then continue on, they then scored a second and third. Then, i got tired and asked for boktang (khairul) to replace. Bad decision. Although Northland didnt scored when he played, BUT, he had no effect to the game. HAHAHA. He practically "gelek" all thru the game. AHAHA. HALF TIME!

Second half......
After some encouragement from the new coach, we went back to the field to do battle. Welll, now all the bp players know that we dont have a high stamina level. They then scored a 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th goal. After the 4th goal, the whole team gave up. We didnt play as well as the first half.

Now u know the scoreline... 1 0 - 0... HAHAHAHAHHA

chinese new year!!

2006-01-27T02:08:00.000-08:00

Well today was the eve of the eve of chinese new year. Nothing interesting happened. Just that Danial had a fight with Wallace. Seriously, i think he got no brains. LOlz. Very bad.

Well. There was the celebration as per normal. Bloody boring! lolz! Well, the only interesting part was the baby of a teacher.( the ncc one ). So cute! lolz. So, our attention was diverted from the stage to the little kid. Lolz. That was the highlight of the celebration lah. The rest were nonsense.

Well, then all the malay boys went to prayers. After that, as per normal, we played soccer near isa house. after that, we went home.

Told u nothing interesting........

SING TO THE SONG!!!

2006-01-18T04:54:00.000-08:00

Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
Hello, Salute, it’s me, your Duke
And I made something that’s real
To show you how I feel
Hello, Hello, it’s me Picasso
I will paint my words of love
With your name on every wall
When you leave my colors fade to gray
Whoa I whoa I aaa
Whoa I whoa I whoa I aaa
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday
When you leave my colors fade to gray
Hey, little lover stay
Or all my colors fade away
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it every day
I sold my strings, my songs, and dreams
And I bought some paints to match the colors of my love
Hello, Hello, it’s me again, Picasso
I will spray my words of my love
With your name on every wall
When you leave my colors fade to gray
Whoa I whoa I aaa
Whoa I whoa I whoa I aaa
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday
When you leave my colors fade to gray
Hey, little lover stay
Or all my colors fade away
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday
Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
When you leave my colors fade to gray
Whoa I whoa I aaa
Whoa I whoa I whoa I aaa
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday
When you leave my colors fade to gray
Hey, little lover stay
Or all my colors fade away
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday

now... not only cn u dance to the music... u can sing along.. especially u faris! lolz!

MAN UTD DRAW! with BURTON!

2006-01-09T07:04:00.000-08:00

WTF!!! Manchester United, a well known club with high reputation, was held to a draw with BURTON ALBION! Ever heard of such teams? NO? no surprise. Its suppose to be in conference league. LOLZ! what embarassment! On the bright side, man utd was using their youngster squad. Thus its not a total lost. BUT! still, if they are good enough to be chosen by man utd to be in their youngster squad, they must be able to defeat BURTON!

U seriously need some miracle to help pull yourself out of such situations...fergie! u seriously need to get sacked... time to make room for new managers and better brains.

EVEN WITH U COMING IN AS A SUB... U CNT SCORE! WHERES THE ROONEY FACTOR???????????

What ever happens.. i will always stick with man utd... just not their season.. with a polish here and there... they will be a club to be feared again!

Sec One's Campfire

2006-01-06T18:07:00.000-08:00

HAHA! last night was the sec one's orientation. It started off quite boringly. Things start to get better when we met fathullah and faris. They had their duties done. So they stuck with me and halim. The campfire at the carpark was a little dull. But when i rained... damn SHIOK!.. lolz. Got drenched. I feel so SEXY! LOLZ. The campfire then continue at the hall. Although the fire was an electronic one. The songs and dancing definitely make up for the "budget" fire. LOLZ. Faris was in party animal mood. He cannot stop dancing and singing lah. LOLZ. You should hear faris sing one day. LOLZ!

well... i lazy to type somemore... thus i end here.. to the sec ones.. gd luck! you will need it.. lolz!

First day of school

2006-01-03T01:54:00.000-08:00

wooo. First day of school. OK. Nothing interesting happened. Met teachers, lost friends who went to "sports school" and much more interesting stuffs. I sat beside faris today, had a real good laugh. LOLZ... rite faris. LU JIWA RETAK AH BEB! btw.. is there still free periods tmr?? lolz...sorry no pictures this time... maybe next time.. Gd luck to me for the O's this year... lolz

welcome 2006!

2005-12-31T22:20:00.000-08:00

lolz... ok.. this is my first ever post right on 1st january. woohoo! lolz... anyways. i went to the countdown near marina and esplanade. It was packed with people. Real fun. The usual mats, minahs, bengs, female bengs, are all over that place. Even the BANGLAS dont want to be left out... They come in droves! and they stink.. ok some of them.

It was so packed that I gave up standing watching the concert and went to marina square (which was opposite) and end up playing arcade games until ard 11.30. After that I met up with my friends at the stairs near marina. Its even packed there. lolz. So we sat down and waited like idiots for the fireworks. End up taking photos and deleting them on a friend's camera.

And then.... ( i think the whole group of people missed the countdown) ... so.. the fireworks began exploding... very beautiful... very magnificent... managed to snap some photos on my phone.. So here are those that i managed to send to my computer.

Quite pretty isnt it.. Only prob is my phone's camera. BAd quality

Here's another one... it has some sort of a planet shape... quite cool.. lolz...

well thats all... My first post... lolz... till next post!

Testing

2005-12-31T22:00:00.000-08:00

1..2..3